their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
