After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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