We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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