When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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