I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just high enough for therapy.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
