this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
