that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
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And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
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I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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