just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
