all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
