just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
