is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
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I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
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I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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