Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
