Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
