I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Come see our sink grown plant.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
