My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
