Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
