someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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