when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I can text with my tongue
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
