sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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