she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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