My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
