I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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