she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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