Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
