she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
