SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
