Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
