capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
