What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
