The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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