weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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