i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
