Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
