I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
