Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
