fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
