That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
