Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
