I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There's always time for handjobs
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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