Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator

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(614): View more from Ohio

If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people

Fav 19 4785 1535
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(510): View more from California

stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work

Fav 20 7676 1928
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(812): View more from Indiana

I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(228): View more from Mississippi

thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"

Fav 3 5965 1534
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.

Fav 42 2605 4943
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(770): View more from Georgia

I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.

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(718): View more from New York

Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream

Fav 4 516 263
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris

Fav 0 8 38
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