It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
