i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
