In the future we'll all be gay
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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