It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
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Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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