Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He called his prostate his "boner button".
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
