i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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