Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
