its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Randomize
