Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
