A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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