what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
