Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
