No stitches, just platelets and will power
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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