You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
