The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
