end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize