I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
