keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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