I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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