yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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